Happiness Is A Warm Gun
by NyxManiae
Summary: Lily Evans was annoyingly flawless until her life started tearing apart. James Potter couldn't care less about her until the moment he couldn't worry more about her.


Lily have always been the perfect girl. Everything about her was absolutely neat and she have never lost the control of her life. Her room was spotless, she would have a place for every little thing. Her drawers were always so organized it looked she never changed her clothes, which were never, ever wrinkled. Her white shirt from her uniform never lost it brightness and was flawlessly under her skirt, which made people she never sit, because of how amazingly elegant it always was. Even her socks were never found in an uneven length and her shoes looked as they haven't ever met any dirty at all. Her hair was always perfectly brushed and her nails stayed admirably well cut. Her grades were constantly the top of her year and she was even made Head Girl, of course.

But now, she couldn't care less.

Water kept falling from the grey sky. Lily hadn't bother herself with an umbrella and her dark coat was soaking wet, her black tights were torned apart and her shoes were covered in mud. Her hair drenched around her shoulders, hiding her pale face and her hands were so tightly closed in a fist that her palms were hurt by her nails. Anyone who could see the prude girl right now would not believe how much of a mess she was. But, then again, she couldn't care less.

The redhead stayed focused on the coffin in front of her, trying hard on avoiding eye contact with the people around it. At times, someone would embrace her, telling how sorry they were and how wonderfully amazing her mother used to be. Lily would quiver slightly in response of the unwanted touch and then she would just stay still, hardly blinking, as if her life depended on her firmness. She barely moved through the whole funeral.

When the burial ceremony was over Lily realised how shitty she was feeling, and how much she desired to get rid of those people. Just as she started walking her way off the cemetery she bumped into someone. As she raised her head she met apologetic green eyes, which had identical shape and color as hers. The redhead stood still, without moving her gaze from the man in front of her. Besides their eyes, they weren't much alike. He was much more tanner than she and his face was rather masculine with a dark short hair and a thick beard. The man was tall and slim and he was wearing a long black coat.

"Lily," said the man almost whispering as he hold her right wrist, his hand seeming huge against her skinny forearm.

"Don't," Lily spoke harshly as she pulled her arm and the man released her wrist easily. The girl was relieved he didn't try to hold her because she wouldn't have the strenght to fight. Without looking back, she started running away from him and from the rest of the people until she found a safe spot and apparated.

* * *

Lily was back in Hogwarts hours later that day. She was still wet when she got into the Heads common room holding an almost empty bottle of cheap muggle Whisky. The girl could barely walk, so she just let herself fall in the first couch she saw. The room would be totally dark if it wasn't the fireplace on the corner, the glimmering of the vivid fire could be seen in her drained eyes.

The redhead sighed unable to figure out what she should do. It was the middle of November and she was soaking wet. Lily would be freezing to death in any other day, but she was so inebriated she wasn't even feeling slightly cool.

Just a few minutes later after she got there, a boy came out of the staircase wearing only dark blue boxers. The Head Girl stared at him intensely, with desiring eyes. The boy was tall and quite slim, but his bare chest was displaying rather defined muscles. She noticed his shoulders were wider and his arms were stronger than she had imagined. His hair looked even messier than it did normally and she could tell he smelled sex when he came closer.

"James fucking Potter," Lily said darkly. "well, aren't you fit?" The girl grinned amused with his quizzical look.

The Head Girl saw him opening his mouth to speak something but she never listened to it.

* * *

Lily opened her eyes cursing herself, she stared the white ceiling of her room as she groaned in pain, her head was killing her. The girl made some effort to remember what had happened in the previous night. Her mother had bloody died in a car accident, then the funeral… No, there was something between these events. The redhead pressed her eyes shut as she remembered what she had drunk her head out to forget. Before the funeral, she had found her waste of a father shagging another woman in their house. The wanker had the nerve to fuck another woman in the room he shared with his deceased wife one hour before the bloody funeral.

"Evans," she jumped as she heard the male voice. She looked for the source of the voice and she saw a shirtless James Potter sitting on her chair. There was some light inside the room, making it possible to her to see haze sympathetically eyes gazing her so profoundly she felt herself burning.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked defensively. The boy led his hands to his hair, brushing it firmly.

"You passed out on the couch," he started in a serious tone. "I brought you here, then. I was worried you could vomit and choke on it, so I stayed." That was not the Potter she was used to. Lily didn't speak with him frequently but the Head Boy had always a light semblant on his face and he was never really serious.

"Thank you," she noticed she was still wearing her black dress from yesterday and her hair was still slightly wet.

"Dumbledore told me about, you know-" James started cautiously as if he was choosing the best words to use and she saw pity in his eyes.

"Look, thank you for bringing me here but I can handle myself for now, ok?" her tone was aggressive and she couldn't stare at him anymore. "I mean, it's not like you care, we have lived in the same castle for six years and we've been always strangers… And now, when we have been practically living together for almost three months, we barely speak to each other except for the Head duties."

There was a dead silence in the room for a moment and she could see pain in his face.

"Ok." His voice was dry. "Whatever suits you better." he stood up from the chair and left the room without any other word, closing the door after him.

Lily kept staring to the closed door for some moment. Her life was tearing apart and she could do nothing to stop it. The only person that really loved her was now dead, leaving her with a egotistical father and a retarded sister, plus her only friend she have ever had in that damned school was a moron she hadn't spoke for more than a year now. Life didn't make any sense anymore, why would she keep on going? She had no one to go back in the end. Lily curled herself in her bed and she started crying, for the first time since she have heard about her mother's death. The tears kept falling from her eyes like her life depended on it. She had never felt so vulnerable in her entire life.

* * *

_As you can imagine, this fic won't be the usual James-loves-Lily thing. Well, I hope you enjoyed the Prologue and any review is wellcome. I would be really glad if you could show me what you think... It would be good to know whether I should continue on writing it or not._


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